Yeah I think I was about 16 in that video, and I actually started off writing short stories, and it progressed to more of poetry I would say (cus you know, there is that slight difference between spoken word and pure poetry), more with lyricism, and putting it to beats. I really love and appreciate the beat of poetry, you know, I actually had a teacher in the 6th grade, Ms. Riches, that put me on to poetry initially. Rest in peace to her, she’s one of my angels. As for rap, you know my mom was always a huge hip hop head, we love hip hop in this household. So, I already grew up listening to that kind of stuff. But I think what it was, was I just started falling in love with words, and with my teacher showing me how to write different things, and about patterns and all that kind of stuff, I started thinking “ok, I think I can really write,” so I just tried it. I just did it.

Ahsh Eff

Thank you thank you, I appreciate it,

I feel like my inspirations have kind of stayed the same more or less, ever since I was a kid. I always looked up to and related most to the same 3 artists: Jay-Z, Cam’ron, and Juvenile. Cam’ron for his bragadociousness, y’know what I mean. Jay-Z for his metaphorical abilities, and how he can play with his voice, and Juvenile, because he’s very acrobatic on tracks. I think, just being from the East coast, we have a certain level of being a little snooty when it comes to hip hop, and sometimes we don’t give people from down South enough credit. Like we feel like hip hop came from here and nobody can do it as well as us, but that’s just not accurate. Y’know he’s just acrobatic as hell. His style of dress too! All the camo, and busy colours and monochrome fits, they really speak to me.

I actually went to a performing arts school and all the “rapper” kids were super out there about it, but I kept it a secret for the longest time, like no one knew I could rap. Then on my sweet 15 - yeah I had a sweet 15 haha - I had a bunch of people over and I just decided I would show everybody what was up and perform for them. Everybody was like “what? That’s crazy! Why don’t you be rapping at school?” I remember after that, forming this group with two other kids and we would just meet up after school and write our stuff and perform it and Nada, let me tell you, I was killing it every time! Like I can be humble and whatever, but they were seasoned performers and they kept telling me how this is what I should be doing, and after that, I mean..I really loved science growing up, I wanted to be a chemist, but at one point I remember after that moment, telling my mom “Ma, I can’t see myself being regular, this is what I need to be doing. I really think I can make it.”

Yeah you know, I started acting when I was just 6 years old. I did ballet, played the drums, the piano. I was just a super artsy kid, but when I found out that I could rap, that’s it, that was my outlet. I had fake anger issues at school LOL, I mean I wasn’t out of control or anything, but people would just try to fuck with me and I wasn’t having it. And it got to the point where I began realizing I needed an outlet, because being different was making me angry. I just feel like I had to be triumphant and fight just to be myself, and the only thing that helped me do that was writing music, making music.

I remember I had this track, the first track that I recorded was this freestyle to Jay Electronica’s “Exhibit C,” I was like 15. This was back when people weren’t really uploading this shit to YouTube, and me and my mom, we didn’t know what we were doing, but we managed to figure it out, and to put it out there. 

And maybe two months ago, I listened to it, and I always remember my music had helped me get through, but there was this one part, I almost cried listening back to it, it went “Heaven with the man voice, big nose and bigger hair” cus people used to bully me about those things in school, and you know, my name is Heaven Ahshe. So I just started from that young, to take those things and use them in my art. It’s a super triumphant song, and by the end I’m screaming, (ma what did I say again?) “seeing that it’s Ahsh Eff who I’m destined to be. Picking the lock, still looking for the key. Steady proving myself, this is my Exhibit C” (Thanks Ma!) And I can’t explain to you the emotion that brings up in me, because to me, my whole life is about fulfilling my purpose. And some people think that they end up places in their lives and it's a fluke, but for me there was never any doubt that this is where I'm destined to be. My path was already destined.

You know what, I feel like me as an artist period, is that. And why I say that is because I believe I stand in the space that represents the middle area, the space where women want to compete and be acknowledged but not just for being great women, but for being great, period. We are amazing, and we just so happen to be women. And then also, I feel like I’m representing the girls’ whose femininity is not traditional. I’m trying to show that there’s multiple definitions of being a woman.

Yeah. I want women to listen to me and know that they can and should be happy with themselves. You don’t have to log onto Instagram and let others dictate what’s sexy or feminine, what you should look like. That’s my overall message, because I’m not the “girly” girl, but I feel like a powerful woman. And I want my listeners to see themselves in my work and feel empowered, feel like they’re heard and understood. To know that there are women out there who do think that and feel that.

Exactly yeah, very well said. That’s exactly it. That’s what makes us truly special.

Oh yeah, well, one of the main examples is, as a woman, one of the main things I have to worry about is people not getting it right in terms of engineering the beats. Now I’m not saying this is just a women issue, but I will say I don’t know a lot of male artists who have to deal with that. For me, I have a good ear, because I play instruments, I learnt music, but I find myself thinking about those who don’t. It’s just I don’t think female artists are taken as seriously, you run into people who are surprised that you’re going places and getting shit done, or that i’m nice! I had a lot of people telling me “Oh I had no idea you were nice in real life.” but it’s like, why are you able to make that distinction between a man and his artist persona but not me? So many guys I know come to me and say “Yo Ahsh, you’re the only female artist i listen to, which is like?”

Yeah exactly! Like, I'm not flattered aha. Other than that, it’s really getting services done for you in the manner that you want them, as a woman, is hard, unless you’re working with other women, or men who truly respect women like Surf (shoutout to you Surf) - he really gets it. And safety things too y’know, like I always make sure to take my mom with me to recording sessions.

Wow, haha. Ok so, one of the first original tracks I did was this song called “@YoungThug” and it was produced by this dope producer from Harlem, her name is Crystal Canes. And I met her through Facebook as a kid because I saw that she was producing, and I was so brave at the time, I was like you know what, I’m going to message her. So I ended up going to her house with my mom and recording that track, and I just ended up cultivating such a genuine relationship with her. She was mad knowledgeable too, and she didn’t mind having me there all the time and teaching me. And one day she brought me to the studio, she was working with him at the time, and she introduced me to a person that was part of his camp. At that time, I would be hanging out in the lower east side of Manhattan at this place called Community 54 a lot. And one day, this guy she introduced me texted me to come through to Community 54, and prepare a rap. I didn't know he would actually be there, just that it was his cookout. And the rap that I did actually, my mom kept making me memorize my raps at the time, she would say “If you wanna be a real MC, you always have to have multiple raps memorized, you gotta be always ready to go.” So I just got up and did that, and it was a crazy moment.  

You know what it is also, when I first came out, I considered myself to be more of an entertainer because I truly love that. Performing live is my thing, because - ok i'm really humble, but I’m trying not to be so much - I’m really acrobatic on stage. I think I can crush any performance, my recovery is amazing. I’ve had so many times I’ve had to turn it out despite instances where something goes wrong, and I did it because I love to entertain.

Thank you, thank you. I really appreciate that you see that!

At the moment, success to me is being able to be so successful in my music that I have people hitting me up with beats, or video ideas, that they have in mind for me specifically, y’know. For now, that’s what success means to me, because it’s about the little victories.

Yeah I want them to be like, “that’s Ahsh.” And I know you didn’t ask where my name comes from - but Ima tell you anyway ahah. My name is Heaven Ahshe, and I shortened it to Ahsh, and then the Eff, is short for effect. Because in science they always have BLANK effect, and it’s the thing that controls, or affects the whole thing, and as a kid I was like “I want it to be the Ahsh effect,” y’know when people listen to my music.

I’m usually 100% involved actually. Most of the time I do treatments, I finally have found a small team of people, I feel as though I trust and see my creative vision, to help to bring it all together, so it’s more our vision. Because I've been doing everything myself for years, writing my own treatment, directing my videos, doing my makeup, hair nails, but now I’m trying to step back a little and allow myself to get help. I have my mom and some of my friends as part of my team and it’s great because sometimes I have a very clear vision for what I want, but other times i dont and that's when it helps to have people who understand you come together and help you come up with something.

For sure, and I have so many concepts I would’ve never come up with myself because it’s hard to seperate yourself from your work, so that fresh perspective is so important.

You know, I only feel like it's bad for artists to limit themselves to one genre, if they know their capacity to create transcends one genre. For me, I'm a person who's big on knowing my lane and what works for me, and in regards to that, there needs to be freedom in that category. As far as being comfortable using my voice for example, but even familiarizing yourself with more genres, so you know how you could better fit into one genre over another. In terms of evolution, I always use Drake as an example, which i hate to do because i do know he is so monstrously successful, but for me he proves what i mean by knowing your lanes, because he switches between lanes effortlessly because he’s sure of his capacity, you know he raps, but he does also sing hooks, he uses his voice as an instrument, he song-writes.And for me, it's always been about hip hop first, lyricism is where it’s at, but it’s important for me to be able to extend past that, I have some singing songs too, You heard “PIRL” for example, I was singing on that, 

My overall tone is villainous, that’s my thing. If there was such a thing as a villain for good, that would be me. I’m only the bad guy when I have to be, and I feel like I show that in my music, just bringing that attitude. I’m much more mild in real life, my inner circle they know.

It’s crazy that you say that actually, I feel like this was the year for me to put more of my experiences into my music. Before I was laying low, kind of living a scandalous life, and I’ve been really turning my life around. I wake up and thank god everyday because I could be dead or in jail. With the turning point of covid I told myself I don't have anything I need to hold back. I need to revel in all of the things I've gone through and all of these things I'm able to speak on. There's so many people that speak on outrageous things that they just don't have any knowledge on, and for me, I'm even more connected to this music I'm making now. I'm coming up to really being able to coin my sound. 

I mean I’m still me, just… monstrous.

Yup, a phoenix from the ashes. That’s the motif I'm trying to bring with this new music. People are going through serious shit in life. I feel like too many things are coming to surface now, and I’m too old to dance around any subjects. 

I got a whole bunch of stuff. I’m going through what we call on the streets, a “trap kill.” This music I’m gonna be putting out, this is the most fire, dope - I need everyone to open their ears. If you’re looking for that Zaza you need to come find that Ahsh Eff, this is exotic, not no block work.